Between The Covers: Don’t Lay With Liars

by Torch

In a rather unseemly conversation in a non-party situation I was privy to this astounding enlightenment. One man was discussing his dating habits. He had a problem; the women he dated wanted to leave bits of things at his house: a toothbrush, a pair of panties, and other personal items. This activity is a way of marking one’s territory, and he did not want his bachelor lair marked by any female. The thing is, if you are spending the night it is no fun running around town with your panties and toothbrush in your purse. As the saying goes, “You should have on clean underpants incase you have an accident.” Well that’s actually dumb as if you are in an accident you are likely to soil your britches. My sister was in an accident when she was 19, she did have on clean underpants but they were her boyfriends, which were discovered by his mother. They later married, I am sure due to the underpants discovery. Maybe the saying should go, “You should be sure to wear your own clean underpants in case you have an accident.”

I digress. So, the social braggart expelled the brilliance of his solution to the problem: he installed lockers in his house, put names of his favorite sports figures on the lockers, and simply assigned each girl a name and locker. He went on to share how these girls so easily believed his stories as he proudly invited them to have a spot in his hall of famer locker room. This was tantamount to the “drawer” what the girls believed to be the first step towards the exclusivity of a relationship, when in fact they were simply going through try-outs for the team of “lie to me, and lay with me” girls. My immediate thought was hoping that some girl just crushes him, but then that is probably how he became a player.

When asked where he finds these lovely, gullible girls, he said he likes to date women with low self-esteem. He said how easy they are to manipulate, as they are eager to believe whatever he tells them. He was amazed how far he could go in creating wild tales, and went on to say how he could do anything to them. They would get mad, cry, and keep coming back for more. I’ve heard this before, in the 1990’s musicians liked to date strippers, who tended to have low self-esteem and money. This scenario lent itself to the plethora of musican/stripper jokes, “What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend….. homeless” “What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? Drops him off at band practice.” and so on. It is a longstanding dynamic.

My question I didn’t ask was, “If you are so proud of being a manipulator, what does that say about YOU?” but I figured it was probably too difficult of a question for said Good Time Charlie, and inappropriate to call him out on his behavior in this setting. Really the better question is, “Why not just tell these girls the truth? You aren’t interested in anything but a sex and a laugh.” I knew he simply wasn’t strong enough for truth.

So, to all the low self-esteem folks, be honest with yourself as to what is going on in front of you. The world is full of great liars, and great lays they are not always the same person. Find a nice cozy co-dependent relationship and snuggle in, feed each other’s needs. Life is better with someone who loves you back, instead of stabbing you in it.

Tags: between the covers, musicians, torch, strippers, players

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