Between the Covers — Onstar, I’m Looking For Love

by Torch

Dating and looking for love is such a long strange trip, and even in this wonderful age of information, devices such as OnStar can’t give you directions; it would be nice to know when you need to turn around, or need help when you’ve hit something, or when you are on the right path and should keep going. Sometimes cupid fires off those hormone-filled arrows, but in retrospect he really missed the mark–what the heck was he thinking? The loves of our past are our teachers; honor them. They taught you: your first kiss, your first poster on the wall, your first dance, your first steps towards independence, your first obsession, your first heartbreak, great adventures, living on nothing, first marriage, first baby, first We Us Our and so on. They can teach you other valuable lessons too like: Never again! I can’t believe I did that! And whew, dodged that bullet! 

We are learning and moving forward, figuring out the difference between what we have been told we want and what is true to ourselves. We are all a work in progress; even if you have been married for decades, you are growing and changing. Some people function best on their own, or as a part of a community, or in a relationship. There are so many choices in love: single, dating, in a relationship, poly-amorous, married, marriage experienced (the PC term for divorced). We complicate things more with trying to define preferences: gay, questioning, straight, bi-sexual, lesbian, queer, and a-sexual. Okay so you try to pic a preference or two, and try to decide what type of relationship will make you happy, it is sort of like being at career day in high school and you are asked what you want to do for the rest of your life and you have to give a definitive answer and stick to it. Very few things in life stay true for anyone over a lifetime; leave some wiggle room.

Some small, but earnest, lessons are all that can be shared. There are very few things that work for everyone because there are so many different kinds of love and circumstances. Different people come and go from our lives. We need new kinds of love as we evolve, even the love of a deep friendship or circle of friends. Friends and family can keep you grounded and honest. They can also smell trouble from a mile away. If you are in a relationship and struggling, ask yourself, “Do you like who you are when you are with that person?” “Do you bring out the best in them?” “Do they bring out the best in you?” “If something detrimental would happen, would you be left to face it alone?” It is the intensity of the ‘unknown in an instant’ that tests the soul of love.

Look upon the one you love with soft eyes, and thank them for all you have learned together. Set your course for romance and don’t wait for Valentines Day; spontaneous acts of romance are far more effective. Hug your friends and family too, for it is a lonely path without them. Light a candle; enjoy some chocolate and rosebuds.

Tags: onstar, cupid, Jen marriot

Category: The Post