Between The Covers: The Grey Bar Motel

Tim Wenger | January 1, 2014 | 0 Comments

The Grey Bar Motel

Between the Covers

By Torch

Jail is not the place to attempt your encore after a night of playing great music, yet oh so many musicians land in the pokey after doing really addlebrained acts on stage. The most notable start of such defiance would have been: 1967 when Jim Morrison was making out with a girl back stage and an officer hired as security for the band told them to vacate. The officer didn’t recognize Jim, and Jim told him to “Eat it,” the scene escalated to the point the officer maced Morrison in the face… the very man he was supposed to be protecting. You’ve got to love irony! After much debate with the manager, police, and promoter, and giving Jim some recovery time, the show started late. On stage Jim Morrison, in nothing but a self serving act, began telling the audience about the incident, and repeatedly insulted the officer in his public rage. The police stormed on stage and arrested him and the crowd responded with a small riot resulting in 13 additional arrests. This gave Jim the dubious honor of being the first Rock star to be arrested onstage during a performance.

Now that the history lesson is over, let’s see what we’ve learned- not much as musicians and fans are still going to concerts and getting hurt, arrested, and hauled off to the hoosegow. Being a musician is a huge responsibility, as you grow in popularity more and more people depend on you to do your job of entertaining them… so remember if you get arrested during a show, the show is over and the disappointment rolls downhill and slaps your fans in the face.

New Year’s Resolutions for Musicians trying NOT to get Arrested During a Show

Don’t pour alcohol into the gaping mouths of fans in the first row at an all ages show= serving alcohol to minors. (a recent observation at a show, that was immediately followed by the distinct sound of the shit hitting the fan backstage)
Don’t make your private parts public, it is illegal and not all that interesting.
Don’t do drugs on stage/ in the venue/ in the parking lot.. duh! Addendum: Don’t ask the crowd for drugs (forehead slap… seen that too)
Don’t solicit sex from underage fans.
5. Don’t incite a riot! (this is how people die who just wanted to see a show)
Don’t hit people with your instruments or mic stands or other various equipment. (this includes strangling band mates or fans with your guitar cords)
Don’t ask the crowd to “Show your tits!” especially while doing a live internet feed, or take photos of your topless fans and thus adding charges of pornography..oops.
Don’t punch the asshole who is yelling “Free Bird!” Okay, don’t get caught punching the asshole yelling “Free Bird.”
Don’t destroy the stage or venue or anything = destruction of property $$
Don’t light things on fire!

**Bonus Tip- Don’t spit, urinate, or chuck feces like a mad monkey at the zoo! Ejecting biohazard of any sort is assault!

If you desire to be a crazy person or thug, do so in your personal time. Here is a bit of insight to mull over, violence and the whole drinking drugging thing just isn’t cool anymore; it’s been done to death and unfortunately to the death of some amazingly talented musicians. It’s like smoking- the cool people don’t smoke anymore, it’s just gross. The trick is to find the next cool thing, beards are popular, horn bands are back, maybe it is horn bands with beards! Whatever you decide try to keep your wits, remember this is a “profession” and spending the night in the grey bar motel is expensive, avoidable, and a drag.

Tags: between the covers, torch