Jesus the Booking Agent – Pt. 17

by Mike Hall

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Mike Hall has been immersed in music for over 20 years, touring the country ‘til he cried and playing in too many bands.  He is currently incubating his sonic baby, the Fire and the Sigh.

Part 17:  Satiation Comes in Seasons

Down within the Comcast film building I was busily going through the CPR motions on this huge stranger.  It’s a unique thing setting your will to breathe for another human being: It feels as though you’re surrendering little gifts, like each breath is hoping to reanimate life. As time wore on and my breath and hope began to weaken, my thoughts turned to the now growing sadness that was hanging on my back like a mocking black crow. While the warmth shared between me and this stranger gradually slipped away, I began quietly grieving for this cameraman I wish I had known.

Life is messy. With the passing of Gunnar Blanke, I dazedly left the glitz of the Comcast compound with a dull hole in my gut. Why? Why? It’s that fractured feeling of powerlessness that needles the mind with many questions. The sadness of the cameraman slipping into the next world was mixed with the realization that this band I had been sinking my heart into for five years, the one that occupied much of my time and thoughts, was also quietly dying. The warmth between us was gradually slipping away.

This picture of the sand pouring from my shoe was a telling premonition: it was taken by Brantley Gutierrez at the sand dunes just a few days before the Comcast concert that ended in tragedy. “Hey, Mike, I’m sorry.  It’s just not working out.” The following week I was let go from Born in the Flood, and mercifully I was only half surprised. You know the marriage is dying long before you sign the divorce papers.

But a strange thing happened a few mournful days later:  I felt excited. That nagging emptiness in my gut, that pit that longs to be a part of something bigger:  It transformed into an electric expectation. I somehow knew the creative muse in me would be fed once again, but ahhh … with what? That is the sweet mystery that hides behind space created from loss.

Satiation comes in seasons, and that is what I leave with you, dear reader. Best of luck in all of your creative endeavors.

Tags: Mike Hall, Born in the flood

Category: The Post