Three Musical Genres Modern Music Can Do Without
by Tim Wenger
Ask any girl that I’ve ever dated, and she will confirm one statement: people (me, in this case) that grew up listening to punk rock (the ‘90s wave, in my case), will continue to do so, and carry on in their firm belief that everything else sucks in comparison–at least until they reach the ripe old age of 28 and have a career as a music journalist. In my defense, I’ve branched out a lot over the last couple years. I even went to an alternative-rock show at Herman’s Hideaway the other night.
That being said, there are some ridiculous styles of music out there, and have been there for decades. Some are even derivates of the Holy Grail I’ve pledged to for so many years. Here are the top three genres that, while our world may not necessarily be any worse because of them, the evolution of modern music could have carried on just fine without them.
1. Horrorpunk- The emphasis on this leans mostly on the former letters in the word rather than the latter, but nevertheless, I can’t deny the truth. Punk rock had its day, and while there are still loads of extremely awesome punk bands (a good handful of them residing in Denver), the Potato Pirates summed it up best in their song “Loosen Up,” “You can’t be unique and punk.” The last thing I want to see at a punk show is a band with an iMac on stage, playing sound clips from some horrible sci-fi flop that no one has seen, attempting to get across the fact that they still aren’t part of the mainstream. Stick to the roots here, and fill the gaps between songs with a nice heavy pick slide, some slightly humorous and extremely witty social commentary, or the always appealing guitar feedback, sneaking up out of nowhere because the overdrive is still turned on.
2. Shoegaze- Until recently, I didn’t even know what the f**k shoegaze meant, but was left to assume that the action the label implies leaves the listener staring in disgust directly down at his Chuck Taylor’s because; although he paid $7 to get into the show, the band is so bad that he can’t bear to watch. My opinion didn’t change much after I researched the genre, despite the fact that I feel as though shoegaze is, in a non-offensive, abstract, intellectual kind of way, an ode to early punk rock. But unlike those early punk bands, the shoegazers were embarrassed by their lack of talent, so they hid it behind ridiculous amounts of guitar effects to disguise the fact that their guitarist forgot his tuner and doesn’t have a good enough ear to find an A on his own.
3. Dubstep- I’m sure this is just pissing you off, but let’s be real here . . . a bunch of clicks and scratches set to a beat isn’t music, it’s crap. All too often these days, crap turns into a trend, and if there’s anything the hip hoards of rebellious suburban teenagers like more than sitting in their car experimenting with the latest drug, it’s the freshest take on electronic dance music. It only gets worse when they start injecting both at the same time.
Category: Buzzworthy
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