Vocal Talk with Carin Dawn

by Carin Dawn

Fear. It is the distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc. – whether the threat is real or imagined.

Most of us try to avoid fear because we are uncomfortable with the emotions that accompany it and often we don’t understand it.  Sometimes our experience of fear is unwarranted and at other times the genius design of “fight or flight” kicks in and recommends flight for the better.

If we examine our lives we can look back at times when we have allowed fear, and it’s instinct to flee, to make decisions for us that we now see were either foolish or based more on being unfamiliar with a situation.  I’m sure that we would all agree that in those moments we would like to go back and make different choices and yet the truth is, we can’t, it is our past. Still, we allow that regret to continue to rule our present and future decisions, because we end up doubting ourselves.

I see this often in my students, with my friends and in myself.  Whether you are a musician, doctor, entrepreneur, or teacher, in the pursuit of dreams we experience fear.  It is why we cower and hide from the things that bring the most light and life into our being.

We often mistake fear for something much simpler… the unknown.  For example, we don’t know the consequences of revealing who we are on a stage before friends and strangers.  We question ourselves at the core of who we are because frankly, the unknown thoughts others might have regarding who we are frighten us, and we conclude that those thoughts somehow reflect and determine our worth.

We want others to approve of our decision and our dreams.  We want to be liked. We want others to see us perfectly in our pursuits, so we get caught up in the cycle of fear and doubt and we end up missing out on what we truly desire in this life.   We cling to this perfect image that WE have conjured up for ourselves.  Not what others deem perfect, but we, in our failures, mistakes, and life experience with a dysfunctional history – think is the image of “Perfect”.

So what is your image of perfect? Do you hold that same standard of perfection to your family and friends?  Do you really think the person sitting or standing next to you would describe “perfect” the same way you do?

I think it’s time to take a hard look at what we desire and allow others and ourselves the permission to be imperfect.  Because in truth – nobody is perfect.  Perfection only means that you are most like the thing you are trying to copy.  Don’t be a copy.   Be yourself.  Be perfect at being you.  Being “You” means that you will make mistakes, have failures, find success, try over and over, and most of the time, just partially get it right.   And in the middle of being imperfect you will find that others see perfection.

Next time you begin to experience that distressing emotion, in regards to your dreams and goals, sit down with it, journal about it, mediate on it or even write a song about it.  Most importantly, familiarize yourself with it, and trust your gut. That fear might end up being your best friend.

Tags: carin dawn, vocal talk, conquering fear

Category: Shop Talk