Woe, Is Me Interview
by Max Giffin
Woe, Is Me is a band from Atlanta, Georgia, known for their rich melodic twist on generally hardcore music. On December 12th they played on the No Guts No Glory Tour at the Summit Music Hall in Denver, Colorado. We got a chance to sit down with Ben Ferris and Michael Bohn for a moment in the back of their renovated shuttle bus that they’ve adapted for touring and ask them a few questions about their band, music, and their lives.
CMB: For those who have never heard of Woe, Is Me, would you introduce yourself and explain in your own words your music?
Michael Bohn: I’m Michael and I do vocals.
Ben Ferris: I’m Ben and I play keyboard. We sound like the worst band you’ve ever heard.
MB: A little bit of Nirvana mixed with Aqua.
BF: Devo.
MB: And Nine Inch Nails.
BF: That sums it up perfectly, actually.
MB: You don’t get much better than that.
CMB: Which of your songs has the most meaning to you?
BF: “Vengeance” for sure, our newest song.
MB: I’d say “Our Numbers,” just because it really hits close to home for me.
CMB: “Our Numbers” is one of your most popular songs, is there a story behind it?
MB: There is. It’s basically about getting out and basically saying ‘f-you’ to anybody that says you can’t do something. Like, we’ve had parents in this band not be supportive or whatever it may be. It’s basically just getting out and doing it, like a slap in the face to them.
BF: Yeah, for sure. My mom just texted me today, and it reminded me how much I suck. So, I just did a thumbs up. There’s no video, but you should have seen the thumbs up. It was pretty cool.
CMB: What’s your craziest tour story?
MB: There’s a lot of stuff we probably shouldn’t say.
BF: One is coming up in my head but it’s kind of embarrassing. [Whispers into Michael’s ear]
BF: No? I shouldn’t say that?
MB: Well, we can say, we have gotten into quite a few fights.
BF: Yeah, because people like to make fun of our hair and stuff and we like to make fun of them back.
MB: And we’ve ended up in McDonald’s parking lot brawls.
BF: And slapping a kid in the face as he hung out of his sister’s car window.
MB: I dunno, we just do a bunch of random stuff.
BF: Yeah, we’re pretty immature, irresponsible, and just band influences. I don’t know. I don’t think anything interesting has happened on this tour.
MB: Warped Tour was pretty interesting.
BF: We suck. I literally just sit around so I don’t have any good stories.
CMB: If you were to be reincarnated as any animal, what would it be?
BF: Sloth.
MB: I would be a penguin, an Emperor Penguin. You’d be a goldfish.
BF: Oh, wow.
MB: Because of your hair.
CMB: How is free time on your tour bus spent?
BF: Um, we actually never spend free time on this thing because it’s small, as you can see, but we get a lot of hotels and we like to break TVs and cuss out room maids and stuff.
MB: Throw stuff out the window.
BF: You know, knock on someone’s door with ye olde flaming bag of s#@t in a brown paper bag.
MB: Yeah, those kinds of things. We basically just sit and play around on our iPads.
BF: Yeah! iPad fun! I like to Lysol stuff on the bus. That’s fun. I think that’s a good time.
MB: We go through a bottle of Febreze a day.
BF: Yeah, about. We need a Febreze endorsement, if Febreze is listening, hit me up.
CMB: What would you say your most defining moment as a musician has been?
BF: We played our first show last year in July and a short year after our first show we were playing in the same city, but as opposed to our first show being like 500, this show was 4500. So, it’s probably just been how fast stuff has gone for us. It’s been insane.
CMB: What’s the worst job you had before becoming a musician?
BF: I was a seafood specialist. I went home smelling like a freaking vagina, a rotten one; I couldn’t hang out with my friends.
MB: He was a meat bastard.
BF: Yeah. I know a thing or two about meat.
MB: I detailed cars. It sucked. I shampooed seats and waxed cars and did engine cleaning. It was a nightmare.
BF: I worked at a preschool too, once.
MB: No you didn’t!
BF: Kids f@#’ing hate me, dude! Holy crap! I will never be a dad. The day this earth will end is the day I will be a father as far as I’m concerned.
CMB: What’s your favorite part of being on tour?
BF: I just like meeting people and hanging out.
MB: Getting to see different things that other people don’t get to see.
BF: We saw the Eiffel Tower in France. It was okay. It was partially not cool because we were so hungry because people over there ripped us off.
MB: We would take the food from the green rooms.
BF: I stole a cantaloupe!
MB: Yeah, just getting to see different places, I guess.
BF: Traveling is just sweet so that’s probably the best part.
CMB: Where does the inspiration for new music come from?
BF: Most of the time, anger. Especially the newest song. It’s mean.
MB: We’re really nice guys but we’re really angry at the same time.
BF: Yeah, we’re just like an enigma how angry we are while not looking angry.
MB: I dunno, I guess just stuff that’s happened to us throughout our lives.
BF: I’ve got a lot of pain in my heart.
MB: A lot of skeletons in the closet.
CMB: What do you hope to get for Christmas this year?
BF: My two front teeth. Michael Bohn.
MB: I’m hoping to get the shocker 9000 for my boyfriend.
CMB: If Pierce The Veil and Miss May I were to battle like on the No Guts No Glory Tour poster, whose side would you want to be on, and why?
BF: I’d probably just run. I don’t know. From a strategic standpoint, Miss May I has more members. Only one more, but still. But since we have five members, we would be the determining factor to who won.
MB: I’m a little bit personally closer with Pierce The Veil guys, but at the end of the day Miss May I has more so …
CMB: How has the response to your new vocalist been?
MB: I hate him.
BF: He gets tomatoes and stuff thrown at him and then someone with a giant walking cane gets his neck and pulls him off stage every night. It’s all right.
MB: We just hope that this bus tips overhand he dies.
BF: Actually it’s been great. Our newest song, ‘Vengeance,’ has done better than any other song we’ve ever put out. The response has been insane so I guess that’s a good sign. People don’t hate our new singer and our career isn’t over as musicians and I don’t have to go back to selling fish and cutting up random meat products for people that cuss at me and tell me, ‘Get your hair out of your face, Emo’.
CMB: Do you have a zombie apocalypse plan?
BF: I’d probably seduce the zombies.
MB: With a leopard thong that I just got yesterday, that I would get to wear but I’m saving it for the apocalypse.
BF: We’re in it for the long run, the long hall.
MB: No turning back now.
CMB: Any closing thoughts?
BF: We’re socially awkward.
MB: We’re socially . . . cool.
BF: I got beat up in high school. Look at me now. I’m not getting paper.
MB: But I am getting . . . hoes?
Category: Planet Buzz
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